What to Do When Your Loved One Says No to Home Care
You know your aging loved one needs more help than you can give, but they keep refusing when you suggest hiring in-home care. Because you know the alternative is either burnout for you or a nursing home for them, here are four ways you can make the idea of a third-party caregiver more appealing.
Address and Alleviate Concerns
Letting an unknown person into the house on a regular basis may make your loved one uneasy, especially if there have been negative experiences in the past.
The refusal of in-home care may also be due to a belief that no extra help is really needed, or your loved one may feel you’re getting ready to abandon them. Offer reassurance to allay these fears, and calmly discuss why you think assistance from a caregiver is the best option.
Propose the Idea as Short-Term
Any change is easier to accept when the commitment isn’t seen as permanent. Discuss having in-home care for a month or two so that your loved one can see how it works and get used to having another person provide help.
In many cases loved ones end up being so happy to have someone else around to aid them, they’re okay with adopting a regular, long-term schedule after the “trial” period is complete.
Involve Them in the Decision
Before hiring an aide, talk with your loved one about the available options. Letting them help you pick the person to provide in-home care can make them more comfortable with the final decision and assures them you’re not planning to leave them with a random stranger.
Take it Slow
Avoid shifting your loved one’s schedule too quickly if at all possible.
Instead, start off with having in-home care a few hours a week. Build up to longer stretches of time, if needed, as your loved one gets to know and comes to trust the person you hired. It also gives you a chance to assess the decision and make sure you’re comfortable entrusting your love one’s well-being to someone outside the family.
Be persistent when your loved one needs in-home care. The idea may seem strange or even frightening to them at first, but if you’re patient and can show you’re making the suggestion because you want them to retain independence you should be able to convince them to give it a try.